Miserable Comforters Are You
Last post, I touched on the subject of what do you say to those going through trials and tribulations, but as I read Job, it seemed like there was more to say on the subject of how Christians are to respond to those who are suffering. The original passage of inspiration was this.
Don’t Be A Miserable Comforter
Then Job answered,
“I have heard many such things;
Sorry comforters are you all.
Is there no limit to windy words?
Or what plagues you that you answer?
I too could speak like you,
If I were in your place.
I could compose words against you
And shake my head at you.
I could strengthen you with my mouth,
And the solace of my lips could lessen your pain. (Job 16:1-5)
Job was suffering. His friends came with the intention of comforting Job. Job vented his frustrations and problems understanding God’s justice. His friends tried to correct Job’s honest questions. These corrections escalated to the point of accusing Job of heinous sins and saying that everything that had happened to Job was his fault.
Job rightly said, “If I were in your place, I could compose words against you, and shake my head at you.” Sometimes we have to show mercy while a person is working through their feelings and confusion. Although some hardships are the consequences or punishment for sins, many (probably most) are not. We, as Christians, are promised trials. We should not be surprised when we go through trials.
Job also compares two ways of responding to a fellow believer going through trials. He says, “I could strengthen you with my mouth, and the solace of my lips could lessen your pain.” We can use our words to encourage and strengthen those who are suffering.
He also accuses his visitors of “Sorry comforters are you all. Is there no limit to windy words?” This reminds me of a traditional saying, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” Some of us want to fix everything. Sometimes we need to just listen. We don’t have to speak an answer for everything. In these uncomfortable situations, it is easy to start with a brief, Biblical answer, but then to start filling the silence with our own words to fill the silence. This can harm of everyone.
Job’s friends initial comments were not bad and were mostly true, but the more they talked, the more they went off track and the more harm they did. We want to lessen their pain, not be sorry comforters.
Of course this doesn’t mean that we can’t share God’s word. It doesn’t mean we can’t acknowledge obvious sins that are known by all parties. It does mean that all words should be an encouragement to lead them into closer fellowship with God.
Job again comments about his friends.
Even now, behold, my witness is in heaven,
And my advocate is on high.
My friends are my scoffers;
My eye weeps to God.
O that a man might plead with God
As a man with his neighbor!
For when a few years are past,
I shall go the way of no return. (Job 16:19-22) {emphasis mine}
Job, being a godly man, puts his trust in God. Notice the pattern: God, friends, God.
And my advocate is on high.
My friends are my scoffers;
My eye weeps to God.
Despite the scoffing and harm done by his friends, he keeps his eye on God as his advocate and the one he turns to in sorrow. In the case of Job, he is able to lean on God despite the harm done by his friends. Those will lesser faith might have been pushed away from God by his friends words.
Love One Another
In the New Testament, we are told:
“A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:34-35)
Our every word and action should be loving. That doesn’t mean ignoring sin, but it does mean every word and action should be used to draw a person into closer relationship with their God and Savior. In the case of a person who is sinning, Jesus set a perfect example.
The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set her in the center of the court, they*said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women; what then do You say?” They were saying this, testing Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down and with His finger wrote on the ground. But when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again He stooped down and wrote on the ground. When they heard it, they began to go out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the woman, where she was, in the center of the court. Straightening up, Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one condemn you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.” (John 8:3-11)
What did Jesus do:
He protected the accused from those trying to use, abuse, and torment her.
He did not deny her sin, but encouraged her accusers to acknowledge their own sins.
He encouraged her to “sin no more.”
This woman knew she had sinned. She did not need to be reminded of it. She didn’t deny it; she knew. Because she and everyone else knew her sin, there was no need to bring it up again. Jesus used this situation to help her accusers understand their own sin and to lead her into repentance and salvation. The gentle correction was used to lead her to a better way.
When we speak to someone in trials, whether self-inflicted, externally caused, or a standard trial common to all men, our goal should be to uplift and draw to Jesus. We should have mercy on the suffering and not add to their suffering.
No matter the case, we need to carefully use our words for love and mercy.
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. (1 John 4:7-11)
Dealing With Sin & Repentance
In 1 & 2 Corinthians, Paul deals with a situation of extreme sin. In 1 Corinthians he rebukes the church for allowing this heinous sin within their church body.
It is actually reported that there is immorality among you, and immorality of such a kind as does not exist even among the Gentiles, that someone has his father’s wife. You have become arrogant and have not mourned instead, so that the one who had done this deed would be removed from your midst.
For I, on my part, though absent in body but present in spirit, have already judged him who has so committed this, as though I were present. In the name of our Lord Jesus, when you are assembled, and I with you in spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus, I have decided to deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of his flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. (1 Corinthians 5:1-5) {emphasis mine}
This unrepentant sin could not be allowed to remain in the body because it could spread among God’s people and because it harmed God’s glory. At the same time, the motivation for removing him from the body was not to remove him from a relationship with God. It was to cause consequences in the hopes that the man would return to Jesus.
In 2 Corinthians, we find that he does repent of his son and seek to come back into the fellowship of believers.
For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote to you with many tears; not so that you would be made sorrowful, but that you might know the love which I have especially for you.
But if any has caused sorrow, he has caused sorrow not to me, but in some degree—in order not to say too much—to all of you. Sufficient for such a one is this punishment which was inflicted by the majority, so that on the contrary you should rather forgive and comfort him, otherwise such a one might be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. Wherefore I urge you to reaffirm your love for him. For to this end also I wrote, so that I might put you to the test, whether you are obedient in all things. But one whom you forgive anything, I forgive also; for indeed what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, I did it for your sakes in the presence of Christ, so that no advantage would be taken of us by Satan, for we are not ignorant of his schemes. (2 Corinthians 2:4-11) {emphasis mine}
Once a sinner repents, we are to immediately forgive and comfort them and welcome them back into the fellowship of believers. We are not to remind them of their previous sins and overwhelm them with excessive sorrow, but are to reaffirm our love for them. Any punishment was for correction, not to harm or cause them pain. We should seek the good of those who sinned. We should welcome them back with open arms. We should forgive as we were forgiven by God.
All of our words and actions toward others, whether the most godly saint or the most reprehensible sinner, should be to the goal of drawing them closer to the Savior and helping them to trust in God’s goodness, wisdom, and strength.
May the God of Heaven carry your burdens and help you to help carry the burdens of those around you. May Our Savior help us to be a godly encouragement to the suffering who draws them into closer fellowship with the Savior. May the Holy Spirt give us discernment in how to best encourage the suffering and to help them rest in Jesus.
Trust Jesus
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